I have no idea....seriously! (because it's my favorite word)

So I'm still trying to figure out what I should do with my life. One thing I've noticed is that I always go back to History and Writing. I've been doing a little research today, and have been pleasantly surprised at how these two subjects work together. I know that sounds kinda dumb, but seriously...it's a perfect union. John is always encouraging me to do the things I love, he even said that if this is my dream, he would support me whole heartedly.

So why am I so afraid? Why do I deny myself the things I enjoy? I think part of this is because I feel that my views in life are socially unacceptable. I know...who cares?! Unfortunately, despite my strong feelings to push that negativity away, it's a constant battle. I also have a strong fear of failure. I fail ALOT. (You're also human;) The funny thing is my crazy desires for perfection and organization, would probably be well met in the field of history and preservation.

Any thoughts? Suggestions?

<3 Anna

Motivation here I come!

Hey everyone!

Just wanted to give a brief update on what's going on in the life of me;) I'm officially finished with school...yay! I'm now job hunting...not so yay:/ It hasn't been too terrible...but it's definitely a jungle out there, as they say. I just sent out my resume to another company and I'm hoping for the best and also requested information for another job I thought might be a good fit for me.

Anyway, I want to brag for a few minutes...I figure I can do that with this being my blog and all;) This weekend has been so great and helped me to see once again that I have an amazing family and an even more amazing God. I feel that with their backing and encouragement I can do anything I set my mind to and that is such a great feeling to have...however, fleeting it may be...I'm just the type to take it and run with it;)

<3 Anna

"So You're Thinking About Being a Teacher"

So I was just looking through my blogs and realized that I hadn't updated about something very important in my life. Here recently, I have really been considering going to school for education. I'm very passionate about learning and I've been tutoring a lady in vocabulary for a few weeks now. I look forward to my time with her each week. She is a very special lady.

I've also decided to take the teaching thing slow, I have a tendency to jump head first into something I'm excited about and then when it's not what I wanted...I become very disappointed. So I finish school in June, I'm planning to take a year off after that to work and hopefully get in with the local school system to substitute teach to see if this is really the path I want to go down. As far as schools go, I'm really considering Piedmont College. I know that it is a great school in education and if I went there John and I would probably move to Demorest, so it would be a new place with new experiences...being near the mountains doesn't hurt either;)If you pray, please pray for me on this, it's a very important decision and I want to do what God wants me to do. Thanks!

Just an Update

I've been itching to update, I've just got so many ideas swarming around in my head and now some coffee that is making me insanely jittery. So this is either going to develop a crazy random post or two separate---possibly random posts. We will see.

Anyway, first off I would like to say that I hate the time change right now. I'm not adjusting well to it---John and I have been going to bed later because of it and feeling like zombie's upon waking up. The only thing I like about it, is the fact that we have more daylight---this is good for Sophie, because we don't feel as rushed in taking her for walks. We have a little more freedom in fitting her walk into our schedule. Beyond that this past weekend was good, John and I were able to sit down and plan out a budget something that desperately needed to be done. I'm looking forward to seeing how it works out with the next pay day:)It will be nice to feel like we can better see where our money is going.

Shifting into a different direction, John and I have been discussing the future a lot here lately. John's been working on his resume and we are hoping to get it out soon. We were originally solely looking at NC for our potential future home, but now we are pretty much open to any where. We do know that we will be here at least until July 25th. We had to renew our lease and since we haven't been as prepared as I hoped we knew that, that would be our best decision---since we don't have any job leads. Another interesting tid-bit along these lines, while on our walk yesterday...I told John about hearing about a couple going into missions for two years. I told him sometimes I wonder if I'm not meant to do something like that, because I seem to be so restless, here lately---and I don't seem to like staying in one place for too often. I know that's not the reason you go into missions...just thinking. I do know one thing---whatever God has for us...I want to be ready for it. I also want to keep my mind open to all possibilities.

So does anyone have any thoughts on moving, job hunting, or anything along those lines? Or any thoughts on missions work?

Dream On

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She had a head full of brown curls, big hazel eyes, and even bigger dreams. She looked at the world with rose colored glasses and she knew without a doubt...that she was a princess. She would wear dresses everyday when allowed and hated to get her dress dirty even though the mud could be appealing. Some days she even thought that she was adopted and her father, the king of some distant place would come and take her to her palace. Some may think this is silly, but she always thought BIG. She knew that one day she would be Miss America, she would travel to Egypt and help with an archaeological dig, she would marry a prince and live happily ever after.

If you haven't caught on yet...the little girl was me. The scary part of this is some of these things I still believe will happen and even more with my looooong bucket list. The funny thing is some people have already shut me off at this point. "Nope, will never happen. You're married you are suppose to be settling in and making babies."

Well there's a couple of problems with this. I didn't get married to settle in. I got married because I love my husband very much. I couldn't imagine going on my dream adventures without him. John and I have both agreed that we want children some day. I'm 23, I've even said I would like to have children at 25. Here's some selfishness on my part: I won't do it though. If I haven't accomplished at least one of my dreams by then, I'll put it off til on down the road...even if the road is not guaranteed. I guess one main reason is that many of my dreams involve travel and I couldn't imagine traveling with a child to an unknown place. I guess the unselfish part of this is that I would want security and stability for my children.

There's just so many things that I haven't experienced. So many things that I dream of...my heart and mind often wander to these faraway places. This is how I know that I'll never be able to shut this part of me off. It's far too big and too much a part of me. *How appropriate?! Journey's Don't Stop Believin' is playing on my Pandora Radio* So what to do?

There's another side to this coin. As well as being a BIG dreamer. I'm also a BIG people pleaser. I'm always trying to make others happy and make people like me. So considering the fact that my dreams are kinda out of the norm, it looks like there will be a steel cage match between the people pleaser and the dreamer. You all have about as much an idea of who will win as I do. Both of these are so strong in me that I have no idea:/ I'm sure the fight will make for an entertaining evening.

So have any of you struggled with this? Do you think big dreams are achievable? Have you ever given up something big to please another? How did it make you feel?