Thursday, December 16, 2010


So my mom got the apartment. It will be an adjustment, but I'm happy for her. John and I will be helping her move after Christmas. My dad is still popping in and out of the picture. I wish he could get all of his stuff in one trip. I just wish this whole thing could move more quickly for my mother and sister's sakes.

I feel kinda sad because it seems that my dad was the final straw for me. I feel like I'm growing dark and wrapping up into my self again. It's safe here. I especially don't feel comfortable with men. I'm withdrawing even from John right now. It's frustrating. I could give you a long list of all the men that have failed me in my life, but I think you get the point.

The good thing is that most days I don't give in. I fight the stupid voices in my head that are my worst enemy. Another good thing is that I'm determined that 2011 will be my year. I have things I want to do with my life and I want to be more intentional. I feel like that is my theme for the new year. If nothing else I can say that I'm hopeful. I guess that is how I'm staying together and not coming completely undone.

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