Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Scars from my Past

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!

That's not really what this blog will be about, but I didn't say it in the there you have it;)

So lately, I've been thinking about my biological father. (for those who don't know my biological father left when I was 4 and sorta came back into my life when I was 13 and then left again. A real winner.) Anyway, even though he gave up his rights to me at 13, I still wonder where he is and what he is doing with his life. I've also wondered because the last I heard he was living in Athens and that's where I live now. It's weird to think I could have walked right by him and not even known it.

This also relates back to St. Paddy's Day because I do wonder about my heritage. I wonder about my ancestry...especially with his side of the family. I know about some of my mom's ancestors, but nothing about my bf. I've been wanting to google his name to find out some stuff, but something keeps holding me back. I also hate to admit it, but I don't even know his middle name. I could easily ask my mom, but I hate the awkwardness that comes with those conversations. So I'm left at a cross roads not sure if I should even tap at the surface of this one. Any thoughts?


  1. Wow. I kind of know the feeling, though our situations are not at all exactly the same.

    My parents adopted me. I know a little about each of my birth parents.

    I would say that in your particular case, I would go ahead and ask a little at a time from your mother. I would tell her that I wanted to know more, but that I didn't desire to make it a strained conversation, could she let me know a good time to discuss it privately?

    That's my advice. Just be grateful that you don't have to discuss your 'original mother' with her. I will say no more.

  2. Um, i have had a similar experience with my bio father. He wasn't really in my life too much even when he was in it, if that makes any sense. I also have a problem with half my ancestry. I only know my mom's. I am at least one fourth irish, so today is my holiday. I say if you really want to know more push toward that answers. but don't think your life will dramatically change if you do get your answers. you will still be you.

  3. Thank you both for your thoughts.

    I don't know what to expect from getting these answers, I guess it's just the unknown of it that makes me want to know. Also I don't know if I should take comfort in knowing that I will still be me...some days I like who I am and some days are just hard.


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