Today I wanted to share with you all something that is difficult for me, something that makes it hard for me to be a blogger. I could be wrong, but I feel that some people believe that bloggers are very self-absorbed people, that they enjoy talking about themselves and writing about themselves and they get this amazing high from rattling on and on about their problems or how great everything is. I know this is not true for me or many of the amazing blog friends I have made. Nonetheless, this is a truth for some and despite some of my better efforts, I can't ignore it.
I have tried very hard to stay out of the spotlight. I try not to puff myself up or act like I'm better than anyone else. This is an expectation that I have had of myself for as long as I can remember. My biggest fear is to be classified as narcissistic, egotistical, self-absorbed, etc. So I tend to lean on the other side of the fence. I don't do things that could ever be misconstrued as such. (Or so I think. I'm sure there are too many times where I am exhibiting these qualities.:/) I don't post many pictures of just myself. I don't stare too long in the mirror, for fear of vanity. I make sure that I do most of the listening in conversation. I'm sure there are many more examples, but I wouldn't want you guys to worry about me.;)
As a blogger, I talk about myself quite often. My blog is a place for people to come and learn about my life and update my family. It's also (I hope) a place of encouragement and a place others can come when their baby is napping for a breather. ;) This for whatever reason seems to be the only place that I can talk about myself and not entirely feel that I'm veering into the danger zone. (Cue narcissists anonymous) So even here, my safe place, can be under attack. I have even thought about getting rid of the blog, getting rid of all of my social media, etc. The reason being that at the time I felt that I may have been crossing over that fence. That pesky fence. This is a struggle that I'll probably fight my whole life because it's such an overwhelming fear of mine. I do want to assure the friends and family that do care, that I won't be giving this blog up. This is something that is very important to me and I hope that this blog will thrive and realize whatever purpose God has for it.
Do any of you struggle with this?