Sick

So my dad being the classy person that he is...walks out on my mom on Thanksgiving. Words cannot describe the anger I felt when I heard that. I also just saw a rather frustrating post, from a so-called friend. The insensitivity of people makes me sick. I seriously feel like I'm going to be sick right now. I wish I couldn't feel a thing. It would be nice to be numb for awhile. I feel like I'm in some sort of nightmare, that I can't wake up from. I'm hurting so much and everyone wants me to just be happy...let it go...I don't think I'm ready...my emotions are so overwhelming and I don't think I want to control them. I think I some how get a sick thrill from feeding my "monster." I know this isn't right, but maybe this is where I'm going..maybe I want to be sick for awhile.