Saturday, February 20, 2010

My Father and me

This past week has been a rough one for me. I've been angry and agitated and I wasn't really sure why. I'm just now realizing some of the reasons. It's still pretty hazy though.

One thing that became particularly clear for me was that I was mad at God. As I said before not entirely sure why...still searching that out. The reasons that became clear to me were that I was mad because of my current situation, but more than that I felt that God wasn't listening. It was then I realized that I was keeping things from God. I know that you can't really keep anything from God, but I was only coming to Him when I had a specific problem and I never ever said when I felt angry. This is when it became apparent that some of my faults in dealing with other people were coming out in my relationship with God. This was truly a hard realization, but one nonetheless.

I told John about my struggles and he asked me if I had talked to God about them? My reply of course was "Kinda." I had told God I was angry, but didn't really try to go into more depth for fear...I guess. So after a lot of crying and sharing my heart with John, he left to go pick us up some dinner. This is after a few distractions, I decided it was time to talk with God. I told Him everything I could think of and from that point I felt a peace over the situation, nothing was different. He didn't transport me to Ireland or England or anywhere exciting. He didn't fast forward time and allow me to be finished with school. He just gave me a peace, a calming feeling to help me get through those rough moments. It was what I needed. I'm always wanting signs and tangible evidence and God always seems to give me that and yet I ignore it. I very quickly speed through everything, missing the beauty, missing the answers, missing well EVERYTHING!!!

I got an email forward (I most of the time hate those things) but on rare occasions I receive one that means something to me. I got this pic from one.

Oh how often I miss this? Yes, life is hard. If only we could think of it like this picture. God is our Father, so just like an earthly father should, He will protect us from all that He can. There are points in our lives though, when God takes off our training wheels and we have to go ride on our own. It's not that He's leaving us, He knows we are ready and if we take a moment and look next to us we will see Him smiling proudly and walking along with us, always there when we need Him. If we could just remember that, I think life would be a lot easier. It wouldn't make everything perfect, but we would have a much needed comfort and a strong sense of the love, the love Jesus talked about.


Be a dear and leave a comment.

They make me smile!