Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Monday Musings: Reflections pt. 1

This past weekend I went to Georgia to visit family and friends. As always I had a great time visiting everyone. On this particular trip I was reminded of how these trips often get me thinking. I find myself reflecting on various aspects of life.

For example, I have known for quite some time that I’m not the most trusting individual in the world. I have had a handful of people that I thought were trustworthy break that trust. This caused me to go to a dark place for a while. (This bred bitterness, paranoia, and trust issues.) And that chain of emotions caused me to push those close to me away and not let anyone new in. At the time I thought I was protecting myself, but really I was hurting myself and others. This was never my intention, but all of these negative feelings created a strong defense mechanism, that’s what they tend to do.

 This trip helped me to further flesh out this discovery of myself. It wasn't pretty and I didn't want to admit that I was allowing people from my past to have such control over my life, but I was. This made me angry at myself and made me realize that I was holding myself back. A harsh truth is that in order to have a healthy relationship you must be willing to open your heart to others. This runs the risk of getting hurt but it’s worth it. I can see that in my relationship with my husband. He is someone that I trust as much as I possibly can trust a person. I hope that this realization will help me with my new friends and old. It’s time to move forward. I don’t want the past to dictate my future anymore.

Do any of you struggle with opening up/trusting others? How did you/do you deal with this?

Be sure to stay tuned for more in my Reflections series!

<3 anna

1 comment:

  1. I love that first quote! It's sad but very true. The ones that are supposed to be so close to you and be there for you sometimes are the ones that hurt you the most.

    Good series, looking forward to more.


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