The past couple of weeks have been the hardest of my life. I’m sure many of you are thinking, well “duh” you are a mom now. This post is in no way to complain or ask for sympathy from anyone, in fact, if it is viewed that way then I’m failing at getting my point across.
I had been struggling breastfeeding Declan, especially on my left breast. So yesterday, I went in for an unplanned check-up. I have a plugged duct…yes, it’s as wonderful as it sounds. My midwife also commented that she was concerned about Declan’s weight, so we had to schedule a pediatrician’s appointment today.
Declan was checked out, despite our issues with breastfeeding (he has a very poor suck and my poor left boob) he was 9 lbs, so he had gained since his last visit on October 10. We discussed my issues with breastfeeding with our pediatrician and how completely miserable Declan and I were (Declan’s poor face would turn blood red and he would shriek uncontrollably for extended periods of time.) She suggested that we go to formula. This was not what John and I had planned, we had even hoped we could get an electric pump and continue getting my breast milk, but the expense is just too great for us now. It was a difficult decision, but we both agreed that it would be in our best interest to switch to formula.
Now that John and I are confident in our decision, we have to deal with the judgment of others. I've found this particularly interesting, among moms. We are constantly being judged on all of our decisions----natural birth vs. medicated, breastfed vs. formula, attachment parenting vs. crying it out/more distant parenting, etc. The worst thing is that moms are judging other moms. Aren't we on the same team? Shouldn't we be supportive of one another? I gave birth to Declan completely natural, does that make me better than a mother that used medication or had to have a cesarean? No way! That’s not what makes a mom, a good mom. I could probably go on and on with this post, but I'll spare you.
I hope that people will respect our decision, but if they don’t, that’s okay. I know that John and I are good parents and that we are doing what’s best for our son.