Last week in class we did an exercise called "The Shield." On a sheet of paper was drawn a shield---one side said "The me I see" and the other said "The me the world sees." It was an interesting self exploration, that really got me thinking of how differently the world sees me as opposed to myself.
It reminds me of my favorite scene from the movie, "The Holiday." Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehUOLjuV_E8&feature=related The scene starts at :49-2:22.
As you can see this is an epiphany moment for Iris. This is the point where she realizes that she needs to take charge of her own life, and essentially become the leading lady of it.
I guess I really identify with her character because I find my real self being hidden due to my own insecurities, as well as people and the environment around me. I should be the leading lady in my own life. I shouldn't let the negative self talk and other bad influences hurt the person I'm meant to be. This is easier said than done since some of the negative views of me are true and or hurtful and the positive comments are most often hard to accept. I literally have to force myself to thank someone for a compliment...and even then their kind words do not always sink in. It's a battle.
I remember John telling me once that Satan knows our weaknesses and uses them against us. Well it's not hard to see mine and he takes full advantage of that fact. The good thing is that there's always a part of me that comes up out of the darkness for air. No matter the length of time, there's always that glimmer of hope. That's what keeps me going.
I think the hardest part about a journey of self discovery is the vulnerability involved. The admission to ones self that these are my faults and learning to love yourself despite them.
(That's all I got on this right now, may add more as thoughts come, also sorry if a bit disjointed...I've got a balloon for a head right now:/) Please feel free to share your thoughts:)
*hug*
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