Monday, September 20, 2010

Starting Over

I think of all my blogs, I avoid updating this one the most. I guess this is because this particular blog is my most personal and I try to be genuine in my posts, except I still have no idea who I am.

Last night, John and I were reading from "Living with Less so your Family has more" (we have two books we are reading now on Sundays), I was reading and one part really hit me and actually brought tears to my eyes. One of the writers in the book, (also a married couple)was talking about their relationship with God.

Here's what he said:

"I (Mark) have struggled with self-confidence throughout my life. Questions such as "Who am I?" and "Why am I so powerless?" tormented me. One day, I was poring over the Bible and read this passage in Ephesians: "I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called--his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God's power for us who believe in him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God's right hand in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 1:18-20, NLT) When I read and received these words, my life began to change. I was powerless because I had chosen not to live in that incredibly great power God had given me. If we allow it God's Word can speak to us very clearly. And we need that truth and wisdom even more if we're trying to live a life that is different than that of much of the world."

I could identify with this passage so much. I have struggled with self confidence issues all my life. I've asked these questions and I've wondered if I would get the answers I was looking for. The ironic thing is, as much as I thought I was seeking and searching I wasn't. (and if I were I wasn't doing a very good job of it)

So last night I made a decision that I'm going to search God's word to not only find out who I am, but to find out who my Father is. People often talk about God and having a relationship with Him. What do we do with the relationships in our lives? How do we connect with others? I'm positive that if we took the same principles we use to have relationships with our family and friends, and applied them to having a relationship with God, we would be able to see things clearer. We would understand God more deeply and we would feel that we truly knew ourselves.

So here's to a new journey, I'm not sure what I will find, but I know that it will be worth the search.

<3 Anna


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